About Me: Hogwarts House Pride and (re)Discovery

Hello! So, today is Bilbo and Frodo Baggins’ birthday. To me, these two were key figures in my life. I’d started to find pieces of myself along my path to mental health. So. In more recent years, I started to see what that equates to in the Harry Potter world’s Hogwarts.

A Little History

Growing up, I had a lot of unresolved and undiscovered mental and emotional issues. Back then, there was a lot of confusion on my part regarding why I acted the way I did. In no way am I saying that I was a good kid. I wasn’t.

Because of this, when I was introduced to Hogwarts, my immediate connection was with the “bad” kids. I felt like that Slytherin offered a place where my confusion would be welcome. This is kind of a funny thing in retrospect, because JK Rowling never actually shows decent Slytherin people.

Like…there’s a hint of badness in them all, no matter how hard she tries to “redeem” them. (I can write a whole paper on Snape and his cruelty toward children, how needless it was, how it relied on nothing but oversimplification of people). Draco was also two-dimensional (woefully so).

Still. I felt like my mental issues pushed me to be mean and defensive. Therefore, I must be with the “bad” kids, right?

Bad Reputation

Ah. I also recall a sense of rebellion. Most people wouldn’t peg me as a Slytherin, and I enjoyed the shock in their reactions when confronted by the notion. It was the closest thing I could do to signify my own “badness” which was mostly a reflection of my mental illnesses that were unresolved at the time.

Even in my early to mid twenties, I was under the impression that I was a Slytherin through and through.

Post Recovery Journey

In more recent years, I started taking the Hogwarts house quizzes to see if Slytherin is truly where I belong. And guess what? Sometimes, it was. There was a sense of comfort in “being the same as who I was all along,” but then…I started taking the quiz without trying to get into Slytherin.

Then?

I was in Hufflepuff. And, for a while, I was teased for it. No one really wants to be just a kind person. We want to be vicious and ambitious (rhyme!). We want to be driven. And, like, Rowling did such a crap job at explaining what Hufflepuffs do.

In no way was I a Ravenclaw (actually, I can crack the test to get me into any house, which sounds awful, perhaps). When my answers were true and honest…I was one of the Hufflepuff folk.

Guess it’s time to embrace it. Oh, and, stop trying to impress or shock anyone.

Hufflepuff pride, yo.

 

 

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From what I recall, this website was started in mid-to-late September. I had started taking
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Rethinking my Social Media Usage and Presence

Hello! So, initially, I had started writing this post a few days ago. The more I write about social media, the more afraid I get of “failing” as a blogger. Anyway, being hip was never really my thing. Today, I am trying to offer a different conversation and approach to social media. The discussion blossomed once I listened to this TED talk.

lonesome

I have started using the Internet when I was in my teens. For the longest time, I was isolated because of my mental illness. Then, I was in this limbo of talking to people, but not really connecting.

Social media, to me, has strongly affected my sense of connection. All day, I keep checking my Twitter, my Instagram, my Tumblr, even Facebook (and who the heck is on that?).  

People keep posting about how great their lives are. Everything is perfect (or, on the flip side, there is the catastrophic thinking posts about how the world is out to get us, how doomed we are, how life sucks).

Truthfully, I get very lonely when I watch people’s living while I am stuck at home. I find myself fixated, addicted, to hearing other people’s stories that I do not get to live my own life anymore.

Losing best friend

In addition, the very strange thing is that I no longer can handle being alone with myself. For me, that is the biggest tragedy, because people will come and go. I only have myself to cherish. Yes, I know this does not sound nice, but it truly feels like my own relationship with myself and with my creator/universe is at a huge disadvantage.

entertainers?

One of the issues with social media, to me, is the way everything feels so curated and rehearsed. It’s like we’ve become entertainers, putting on a show (It can be of anything: hyper sexuality, manic depression, self harm, even happiness is made into a looped Vine).

 

The issues I noticed with the Internet is that people say things for attention, and not really for connecting. If you don’t say the “right” things, if you are not funny and charming, witty, sarcastic, and jaded, people unfollow you.

Or, better yet, some people idolize others. I know I do that often. In my head, I paint perfect pictures of people (say that ten times fast, go!). Like, there are people who get perfect numbers of likes with every post. It feels like if I copy a certain group of people, if I tune into their dialogue and humor, somehow I’ll be more effective as a writer.

and so…

So, I am going to slowly cut down on social media. I am posting relevant ideas on the Internet. You don’t need to hear about how sad I am for the millionth time. If you feel curious, you can ask. However, I do not want to spend my time asking for attention.

It is time for me to pay attention to myself, to my worship, to my work. Does this mean I’m gone from social media? No, not at all. I just want to tweak what I do say, how I communicate so that it is truthful and honest.

Honestly, I am aware that this is going to be a process. I just want to focus on myself and my impact on the world. This doesn’t mean I’m going to fake happiness in any way, but I can at least control what I share and say/portray in my life.

Life is too short to live waiting for things to happen. I truly believe that my life will be much healthier in the long run.

Warning: I am not judging you for how you use the internet. Simply put, I am discussing my journey and summoning a shift in my perception of my socializing online. 

Hello! So, today is Bilbo and Frodo Baggins' birthday. To me, these two were key
From what I recall, this website was started in mid-to-late September. I had started taking
    Hi there. While watching Ely's introduction of her cat Percy, I thought of

About Me: Reading Journey Since I Started (Book) Blogging

From what I recall, this website was started in mid-to-late September. I had started taking blogging more to heart, and putting a more serious effort with my reading and writing. Today, I am honoring this journey thus far. In other words, I am going to be talking about my reading journey since I started (book) blogging.

The beginning

Books were usually things I only read from school–libraries, and curriculum assigned stuff. But, my family and friends started gifting me book, and, before long, I started out buying books with pretty covers. These were the days before I had heard of BookTube or the blogging community.

Reading early on

For a while there, I was only reading books that I’d found on Goodreads. Mostly: I was reading the Percy Jackson series (and maybe the series after that, too: Heroes of Olympus) and Spiderwick Chronicles, The Mortal Instruments series, too. Some co-workers would recommend stories: Twilight, Wicked Lovely come to mind.

There were popular books I had hauled.  Obviously some of it was based on favorite authors: so, I got some Holly Black YA books, John Green books, and so on. Back then, I was not reading regularly, nor was I buying books frequently. Moreover, there was little discussion regarding my thoughts and feedback on what I read.

Book blogging

My book blogging journey started when I met Inge on Goodreads. She had posted a witty and funny comment that a mutual friend had liked and/or commented on. That’s how I stumbled on her blog with Aly (at the time, it was just the two of them). They were starting this shady spot on the Internet called OfWonderland.com (I’m joking. Their site is beautiful).

Through Inge, I met the coolest kids in town, who recommend books all the time. Through them, I started to learn more about diversity in literature and #ownvoices, which were once figments of my imagination as a woman of color who is bi-cultural.

some rules

So, right now, I have decreased the amount of books I ask for every month. In general, I have been trying to get at least one #ownvoices work per haul (this is a very new decision). For the most part, I still read some hyped books.

Goals and dropping some names

Right now, I am exploring some more LGBT+ authors. To be honest, my goal is to read more from trans authors, but I don’t know of a good place to start. I am also struggling to find aromantic asexual representation in young adult literature. The search continues.

At some point, I want to have read a little bit from across the globe. I have some work by people of color, but not enough. I certainly haven’t read and reviewed their work, which is something I’d like to work on as well.

Some historical fiction from a different, marginalized group is also pretty intriguing.

Finally, I am aiming to explore more disability in the books I read. So far, I haven’t read any fantastic disability representation.

In general, I am trying to read more diversely. So, if you have any recommendations, please leave them in the comments! I’d love to support #ownvoices authors more.

Your Turn:

How has your writing progressed since you started blogging and/or video blogging, bookstagram(ing)?

 

 

Hello! So, today is Bilbo and Frodo Baggins' birthday. To me, these two were key
Hello! So, initially, I had started writing this post a few days ago. The more
    Hi there. While watching Ely's introduction of her cat Percy, I thought of

About Me: Meet My Kitties

 

 

Hi there. While watching Ely’s introduction of her cat Percy, I thought of introducing my own cats. Here are my own babies: Momo, Mika and Massy.

honoring corn-loving cat: Momo

I have to mention Momo, our first cat to live with us full-time. Momo was one of the reasons I became vegan. She loved life. I’d see her twist her body in ways I’d never imagined a cat can ever do. She loved corn, and pancakes. I believe she also loved watermelon.

When I had manic episodes, she wanted to play with me. When I was in depressive episodes, she’d lay with me in bed and purr. I wish I’d taken more photos of her. Back then, I was not very social with Momo. It’s something I always feel guilty of.

Baby girl passed away 2010 (I think?), and I was so devastated. I lay around just crying.

Mika the cuddle monster

So, Momo used to get lonely and she wanted friends to play with. Mom adopted Mika. Mika has long hair, and the ugliest meow known to man-kind. She loves to eat, as well. Her favorite human food is lettuce. This cat was such a water baby. She used to walk in on people taking showers and just sit in the corner of the tub, watching the water.

Mika used to quite anti-social. Her favorite person used to be my brother, but it’s now my sister. She is very chatty (not my sister, Mika). And she’s also rather affectionate.

Sometimes, she tricks people into petting her while she eats. I have no clue what purpose that serves for her. I usually do what she wants.

My monkey child: massy

I met Massy when she was a little wee kitten. People were bottle feeding her, because her mommy was gone. After Momo passed away, we adopted Massy. She had fleas and she slept in my room. I felt chosen, I know that’s silly but Massy always makes me feel like I have something to offer.

She loves me so much, she poops in my room. Now THAT is true love. Every night, she checks on me. We cuddle sometimes. She kind of has a temper. You can’t just pet her randomly.

Massy is very picky with food, and with people. She is not very social; but, she’ll come to you if she feels safe around you.

What’s with the m thing?

My little sister’s name starts with M, and she initiated a law of naming cats with M names. Even stray cats get an M name. I take this rule very seriously, okay.

 

Hello! So, today is Bilbo and Frodo Baggins' birthday. To me, these two were key
Hello! So, initially, I had started writing this post a few days ago. The more
From what I recall, this website was started in mid-to-late September. I had started taking