My incredible friend Ely posted her answers to this Book Personality Challenge a few days back. I have not been able to stop thinking about it. In particular, I am someone who gets mixed responses when I do the Myers/Briggs business. Naturally, I thought of participating in the challenge to bring in a different perspective. Plus, what’s a Wednesday morning without an identity crisis?
The Netflix Chronicles are back. If you are new here, the Netflix Chronicles is a feature on my blog where I showcase series or films. Most of the shows are fairly popular ones. But now, I want to approach the return of the Netflix chronicles under an authentic lens.
Let’s see what that entails.
netflix and perilous content
Part of my struggle with Netflix shows like The 100 is that they tend to be far too nerve-wracking for me. I end up anxious. This has been a long way coming because I want to watch things that are less stressful. I can watch The Hunger Games just fine because I feel like there is a hopeful ending. And that is something I really need: hope. While adventure and dystopian novels, movies, and series don’t always upset me, some of them really strike a nerve.
Triggering content and Netflix
Next, I am eliminating graphic and triggering content. Whether it is physical or mental, I am eliminating the stress of watching upsetting things.
Netflix chronicles update
So, I am watching Nailed It, which is a funny baking show. It is about amateur bakers taking on sophisticated projects. The host of this show makes me smile.
In addition, One Day at a Time is giving me life as it explores the lives of a Cuban-American single mother and her two children. Her kids are so much fun to watch. Besides, her mother is a queen in my world. I adore them.
Finally, I am still working my way through The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt. It’s another really accessible and sweet show.
It is refreshing to watch shows that don’t make me feel terrible and hopeless. I can definitely get used to this life. Please, feel free to recommend any other Netflix shows that you find charming and not triggering.
I definitely need to stock up my list on Netflix for more options.
Keep your eyes peeled for more Netflix Chronicles updates and reviews.
Sometimes, when I talk to certain people, I see it clearly. Negativity. Like a lot of it. Granted, my own knack for slipping into a nice bath of complaints has been around for ages. Still, I am not one to give into the default settings of my programming. I’d been toying with the idea of a gratitude practice, but it wasn’t until Inge mentioned it that I saw it as a possibility. Here is my gratitude practice thus far.
3 in-progress learning experiences
I have looked into templates on Pinterest when I started this practice way back in November. The reason behind templates is twofold. First, it is to facilitate discussion when I am not feeling my best. Often, my moods settle on an epic low note for days or weeks, so I struggle to come up with coherent thoughts as it is. A template creates a routine to this journal. It also acts as a guiding hand, because I am out of practice when it comes to positivity and gratitude–and I admit this not as a point of pride. Not at all. I want to manage my mental health better.
Victim-mentality drives my narrative and I have a rather cruel lens filtering my daily ups and downs. Reframing the experiences as a learning opportunity is like earth-shattering information to me. I do a lot of panicking when conflict arises, and this template reminds me to try and stay calm.
Plus, I think when I look back and see lessons repeating, it neutralizes the dooms-day threat a little bit. It gives me concrete examples of this conflict repeating. Besides, it could act as a good jumping off point for meditation, journaling, and therapy discussions. Hey, maybe I’ll be more self aware and conscious of how I interact with the world (that is the dream, to be quite frank).
a list of things i am grateful for
I try to list some stuff that makes me happy that day. Moreover, I try not to repeat too much. Now, obviously, sometimes duplicates will appear on my lists, but I do make it a point to not check what I wrote the day before until I am done.
but…testing more prompts
But, I noticed that my journal can be a bit cyclical by doing just two things every day. SO. I am incorporating more prompts. I want to reflect more on different things, and then derive my own gratitude nuggets from whatever it is I have reflected on.
The point is for it to be fairly brief and always consistent. So far, I had been journaling every couple of days, which is not that good. I am going to try it tonight, and keep it
Hello! So, today is Bilbo and Frodo Baggins’ birthday. To me, these two were key figures in my life. I’d started to find pieces of myself along my path to mental health. So. In more recent years, I started to see what that equates to in the Harry Potter world’s Hogwarts.
A Little History
Growing up, I had a lot of unresolved and undiscovered mental and emotional issues. Back then, there was a lot of confusion on my part regarding why I acted the way I did. In no way am I saying that I was a good kid. I wasn’t.
Because of this, when I was introduced to Hogwarts, my immediate connection was with the “bad” kids. I felt like that Slytherin offered a place where my confusion would be welcome. This is kind of a funny thing in retrospect, because JK Rowling never actually shows decent Slytherin people.
Like…there’s a hint of badness in them all, no matter how hard she tries to “redeem” them. (I can write a whole paper on Snape and his cruelty toward children, how needless it was, how it relied on nothing but oversimplification of people). Draco was also two-dimensional (woefully so).
Still. I felt like my mental issues pushed me to be mean and defensive. Therefore, I must be with the “bad” kids, right?
Ah. I also recall a sense of rebellion. Most people wouldn’t peg me as a Slytherin, and I enjoyed the shock in their reactions when confronted by the notion. It was the closest thing I could do to signify my own “badness” which was mostly a reflection of my mental illnesses that were unresolved at the time.
Even in my early to mid twenties, I was under the impression that I was a Slytherin through and through.
Post Recovery Journey
In more recent years, I started taking the Hogwarts house quizzes to see if Slytherin is truly where I belong. And guess what? Sometimes, it was. There was a sense of comfort in “being the same as who I was all along,” but then…I started taking the quiz without trying to get into Slytherin.
I was in Hufflepuff. And, for a while, I was teased for it. No one really wants to be just a kind person. We want to be vicious and ambitious (rhyme!). We want to be driven. And, like, Rowling did such a crap job at explaining what Hufflepuffs do.
In no way was I a Ravenclaw (actually, I can crack the test to get me into any house, which sounds awful, perhaps). When my answers were true and honest…I was one of the Hufflepuff folk.
Guess it’s time to embrace it. Oh, and, stop trying to impress or shock anyone.
Hufflepuff pride, yo.
Hello! So, initially, I had started writing this post a few days ago. The more I write about social media, the more afraid I get of “failing” as a blogger. Anyway, being hip was never really my thing. Today, I am trying to offer a different conversation and approach to social media. The discussion blossomed once I listened to this TED talk.
I have started using the Internet when I was in my teens. For the longest time, I was isolated because of my mental illness. Then, I was in this limbo of talking to people, but not really connecting.
Social media, to me, has strongly affected my sense of connection. All day, I keep checking my Twitter, my Instagram, my Tumblr, even Facebook (and who the heck is on that?).
People keep posting about how great their lives are. Everything is perfect (or, on the flip side, there is the catastrophic thinking posts about how the world is out to get us, how doomed we are, how life sucks).
Truthfully, I get very lonely when I watch people’s living while I am stuck at home. I find myself fixated, addicted, to hearing other people’s stories that I do not get to live my own life anymore.
Losing best friend
In addition, the very strange thing is that I no longer can handle being alone with myself. For me, that is the biggest tragedy, because people will come and go. I only have myself to cherish. Yes, I know this does not sound nice, but it truly feels like my own relationship with myself and with my creator/universe is at a huge disadvantage.
One of the issues with social media, to me, is the way everything feels so curated and rehearsed. It’s like we’ve become entertainers, putting on a show (It can be of anything: hyper sexuality, manic depression, self harm, even happiness is made into a looped Vine).
The issues I noticed with the Internet is that people say things for attention, and not really for connecting. If you don’t say the “right” things, if you are not funny and charming, witty, sarcastic, and jaded, people unfollow you.
Or, better yet, some people idolize others. I know I do that often. In my head, I paint perfect pictures of people (say that ten times fast, go!). Like, there are people who get perfect numbers of likes with every post. It feels like if I copy a certain group of people, if I tune into their dialogue and humor, somehow I’ll be more effective as a writer.
So, I am going to slowly cut down on social media. I am posting relevant ideas on the Internet. You don’t need to hear about how sad I am for the millionth time. If you feel curious, you can ask. However, I do not want to spend my time asking for attention.
It is time for me to pay attention to myself, to my worship, to my work. Does this mean I’m gone from social media? No, not at all. I just want to tweak what I do say, how I communicate so that it is truthful and honest.
Honestly, I am aware that this is going to be a process. I just want to focus on myself and my impact on the world. This doesn’t mean I’m going to fake happiness in any way, but I can at least control what I share and say/portray in my life.
Life is too short to live waiting for things to happen. I truly believe that my life will be much healthier in the long run.
Warning: I am not judging you for how you use the internet. Simply put, I am discussing my journey and summoning a shift in my perception of my socializing online.
From what I recall, this website was started in mid-to-late September. I had started taking blogging more to heart, and putting a more serious effort with my reading and writing. Today, I am honoring this journey thus far. In other words, I am going to be talking about my reading journey since I started (book) blogging.
Books were usually things I only read from school–libraries, and curriculum assigned stuff. But, my family and friends started gifting me book, and, before long, I started out buying books with pretty covers. These were the days before I had heard of BookTube or the blogging community.
Reading early on
For a while there, I was only reading books that I’d found on Goodreads. Mostly: I was reading the Percy Jackson series (and maybe the series after that, too: Heroes of Olympus) and Spiderwick Chronicles, The Mortal Instruments series, too. Some co-workers would recommend stories: Twilight, Wicked Lovely come to mind.
There were popular books I had hauled. Obviously some of it was based on favorite authors: so, I got some Holly Black YA books, John Green books, and so on. Back then, I was not reading regularly, nor was I buying books frequently. Moreover, there was little discussion regarding my thoughts and feedback on what I read.
My book blogging journey started when I met Inge on Goodreads. She had posted a witty and funny comment that a mutual friend had liked and/or commented on. That’s how I stumbled on her blog with Aly (at the time, it was just the two of them). They were starting this shady spot on the Internet called OfWonderland.com (I’m joking. Their site is beautiful).
Through Inge, I met the coolest kids in town, who recommend books all the time. Through them, I started to learn more about diversity in literature and #ownvoices, which were once figments of my imagination as a woman of color who is bi-cultural.
So, right now, I have decreased the amount of books I ask for every month. In general, I have been trying to get at least one #ownvoices work per haul (this is a very new decision). For the most part, I still read some hyped books.
Goals and dropping some names
Right now, I am exploring some more LGBT+ authors. To be honest, my goal is to read more from trans authors, but I don’t know of a good place to start. I am also struggling to find aromantic asexual representation in young adult literature. The search continues.
At some point, I want to have read a little bit from across the globe. I have some work by people of color, but not enough. I certainly haven’t read and reviewed their work, which is something I’d like to work on as well.
Some historical fiction from a different, marginalized group is also pretty intriguing.
Finally, I am aiming to explore more disability in the books I read. So far, I haven’t read any fantastic disability representation.
In general, I am trying to read more diversely. So, if you have any recommendations, please leave them in the comments! I’d love to support #ownvoices authors more.
How has your writing progressed since you started blogging and/or video blogging, bookstagram(ing)?
Hi there. While watching Ely’s introduction of her cat Percy, I thought of introducing my own cats. Here are my own babies: Momo, Mika and Massy.
honoring corn-loving cat: Momo
I have to mention Momo, our first cat to live with us full-time. Momo was one of the reasons I became vegan. She loved life. I’d see her twist her body in ways I’d never imagined a cat can ever do. She loved corn, and pancakes. I believe she also loved watermelon.
When I had manic episodes, she wanted to play with me. When I was in depressive episodes, she’d lay with me in bed and purr. I wish I’d taken more photos of her. Back then, I was not very social with Momo. It’s something I always feel guilty of.
Baby girl passed away 2010 (I think?), and I was so devastated. I lay around just crying.
Mika the cuddle monster
So, Momo used to get lonely and she wanted friends to play with. Mom adopted Mika. Mika has long hair, and the ugliest meow known to man-kind. She loves to eat, as well. Her favorite human food is lettuce. This cat was such a water baby. She used to walk in on people taking showers and just sit in the corner of the tub, watching the water.
Mika used to quite anti-social. Her favorite person used to be my brother, but it’s now my sister. She is very chatty (not my sister, Mika). And she’s also rather affectionate.
Sometimes, she tricks people into petting her while she eats. I have no clue what purpose that serves for her. I usually do what she wants.
My monkey child: massy
I met Massy when she was a little wee kitten. People were bottle feeding her, because her mommy was gone. After Momo passed away, we adopted Massy. She had fleas and she slept in my room. I felt chosen, I know that’s silly but Massy always makes me feel like I have something to offer.
She loves me so much, she poops in my room. Now THAT is true love. Every night, she checks on me. We cuddle sometimes. She kind of has a temper. You can’t just pet her randomly.
Massy is very picky with food, and with people. She is not very social; but, she’ll come to you if she feels safe around you.
What’s with the m thing?
My little sister’s name starts with M, and she initiated a law of naming cats with M names. Even stray cats get an M name. I take this rule very seriously, okay.