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I figured a change of pace would be a good idea for the blog. Today, I am sharing more about myself through the Movie Tag. This tag is one I have seen on one of my favorite BookTuber people Ginger Reads Lainey. Let me tell you about movies that I adore.

Here are the questions.

Favorite movie of all time?

I like all the movies I own, I suppose. That’s quite a number of films. I guess it depends on my mood. When I am sad, I go for The Perks of Being a Wallflower. When I am trying to pick myself back up from a dark spot, I usually go for It’s Kind of a Funny Story. 

Other favorites: The Fault in Our Stars, My Big Fat Greek Wedding (1 and 2), and Coming Through the Rye.  What If and Swiss Army Man. 

 Favorite scene from that movie?

The friendship montage in Swiss Army Man is such a classic in my world. I love it.

Another favorite is the dance sequence from Little Miss Sunshine. 

– Favorite actors /actresses?

I find myself gravitating toward characters and less toward actors. Then, the actors I actually do like I tend to like them for their activism and commentary on social situations.

– Most annoying actor/actress?

I literally tried to do research on actors/actresses I may dislike. It’s very rare when I end up disliking an actor. They have a tough job.

– Best director?

Edgar Wright has my favorite style of directing. I only have two of his films, but I enjoy them quite a bit. I like the very meta tone that his films tend to have.

– Favorite guilty pleasure film?

Movies based on books make me smile. So here are some of those films: Vampire Academy, The Mortal Instruments, Everything Everything,  The Duff, Beautiful Creatures. 

The Lord of the Rings and The Hobbit films are also dear to me. Harry Potter films are special to me.

Live-Action films:  Mirror Mirror, Beauty and the Beast, Cinderella 

– Favorite tear jerker?

Love, Rosie.  Me Before You.  The Perks of Being a Wallflower. The Book Thief. 

– Character from a movie that scared you the most?

I do not watch scary films. But, I think Voldemort and Bellatrix Lestrange will always be frightening for me. The other terrifying characters I had encountered in films is Gollum. It is the tangible way he is relatable to me; it is scary.

– Movie you love everyone hates?

The Percy Jackson movies, I think. And Spiderwick Chronicles, too, are special. Plus, you can see all the movies based on books are among my favorites. I did notice that not that many people were fond of Paper Towns as a film, which is just wrong.

– Movie you hate everyone loves?

I don’t know if people actually love the Pitch Perfect movies. There are too many of them. I actually did not mind the first one. But, then the jokes got worse in the second one. Eugh.

– Favorite animated movie?

I know I’m being stereotypical but I have always loved Aladdin the most. It was my first film I remember watching in theaters and it was so special.

– Actor/actress crush?

None, I guess.

– Favorite movie villain?

Kylo Ren will always be my favorite. Hands down. Like Gollum, he is so relatable through his conflict within himself.

– What movie surprised you the most?

The Man from U.N.C.L.E was such a pleasant surprise. We ended up spending a whole summer just watching it every day.

– If you could go back in time and marry actor/actress from back when (now old) who would it be?

I think Marilyn Monroe and I could have a good series of discussions on mental illness and body positivity. It could be an open marriage if she wants. I am totally cool with her being with other people.

– What’s the first movie you remember watching in theaters

Aladdin is one of those iconic films that changed everything for me. For a long time, I would play the soundtrack in my head when things were happening in life. It’s hard to explain. But, I lived by that soundtrack.

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June Week 1 TBR

As you may have read in previous blog entries, I will be participating in Emojiathon

I spend a lot of time online. Perhaps I’m not alone in this, but it certainly feels that way. Over the past couple of weeks, I have been trying out podcasts. To encourage regular listening, I’m hoping to share my favorites every once in a while. Let’s begin.

On Feminism and Intersectionality

My favorite podcast in that regard, thus far, has to be Stuff Mom Never Told You. I can’t get over their episode on Miley Cyrus and racism, because oh my goodness this was mind-blowing and eye opening. Another really cool episode I had listened to was about African Americans and mental illness’ stigma. SO GOOD!

Anxiety and Depression Management and Community

You have to check out “Talking in Circles” with Laura Miller. This lady is honest and raw, real about her mental illness and how it affected her pregnancy. She used to make YouTube video series with the same title. I’ll link it right here for you. My favorite episode of the podcast has to be the one with Jen Gotch who is also extremely open and frank about her own life as a woman with mental illness. Also: I am learning from her by rating my own wellness every day. Just to be self aware and honest with myself.

So, I don’t know if you heard of Yoga Girl. She had a book come out a few years back, and she is popular on Instagram within the yoga community. I like her a lot, as a person and as a yogi. Luckily for me, she has a podcast called “From the Heart.” My favorite episode thus far is one about grief. The guest on that episode lost her child. Pshaw. That episode was so powerful and moving. It still haunts me and drives me to do better as a human.

Your Turn:

Do you have any favorite self improvement podcasts on iTunes? Please, share them with me in the comments! I want to learn more!

Get to Know Me Through the Movie Tag

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Top Ten Tuesday: Top Ten Recommendations for Fans of Bad-ass Characters

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June Week 1 TBR

As you may have read in previous blog entries, I will be participating in Emojiathon

As you may have read in previous blog entries, I will be participating in Emojiathon this month. But, I like to break down my June TBR by weeks to avoid getting overwhelmed.

Read a book about a marginalized group

Crooked Kingdom by Leigh Bardugo

Cover Buy 

The Glittering Court by Richelle Mead(e?)

Read a Book that Makes You Happy

The Selection by Keira Cass

I obviously may rebel, but I think I just need to read some light stuff with Crooked Kingdom. This is important, especially after Lord of Shadows broke me.

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T5W, or Top 5 Wednesday, is a meme that is run by Sam from Thoughts on Tomes. The Goodreads Group is right here, for you to check out topics and participate with us. This week, my T5W is about authors I want to read more from. Some of these authors, I have not read anything from at all. Others are ones I have read a work or two by them, and I want to read more. But, over all, they are authors I would like to read more from regardless of how much I have read from them already.

Let the list of my top 5 authors I would like to read more from begin!

5. Rae Carson

I have read the first book of her Girl of Fire and Thorns. While her pacing is a little off in that book, I remain interested in her work because I am hoping to finish up that trilogy and read her new trilogy. She writes complex worlds and nuanced character development.

4. Cinda Williams Chima

Slowly, I have been gathering up her books. Now that I have read the first book of Mistborn, I want to explore high fantasy some more. While I am interested in reading more Sanderson, I want to also read fantasy from women’s own perspective.

3. Brandon Sanderson

Having said that, I really enjoyed most of the Final Empire and so I want to read more Sanderson. Over the past year, I have been collecting some of his work (a lot of his work, actually). Part of this interest stems from selfish reasons. Sanderson talks about how he is a slow and steady writer, and I am pretty slow when it comes to writing as well. And, I think he writes poignant relationships, vast worlds; how can I not be interested?

2. Neil Gaiman

Stardust is one of my most treasured movies, and I want to write fantastical and dreamlike narratives just like Gaiman. He seems to have a humble, yet strong sense of style and poise in his fiction. All I can think of is how great it would be to pick up some stylistic lessons from reading his work.

  1. Roshani Chokshi

Lush beautiful writing, based on what little I have read from her, and culturally rich stories. As a wanna-be author of color, I am inspired by other women of color who write stories where they are meshing their cultural influences with traditional mainstream stories. So, Hades/Persephone story infused with Indian mythology is what I have heard about her first book, which sounds brilliant to me.

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The lovely Mollie from MollieReads created the #Do-A-Thon. It will be taking place during the first week of May. The event involves finding ways to live more mindfully, and to tackle the challenging things we never quite get to do often. So, here’s my Do-A-Thon “TBR.”

Do one thing that scares you or do something that challenges the story you tell yourself.

I have a very bad relationship with my body. Over the years, I have developed some disordered thinking and eating. So, I want to: be more mindful of what I eat, how much I eat. Facing my own body image issues by being more understanding of my eating habits will scare me, I know it. But, I think it’ll help me a lot by challenging my self narrative.

Rather than being a product of medications’ side effects, I get to be in control of my food intake and wellness.

• Complete a project (creative or otherwise) that you’ve been putting off.

I need to sort through my closet and organize it better. In addition, I would like to revisit my poetry and wrap up some of the poems I did not finish. I have a lot of them jotted on my iPods.

• Do something that involves someone else or do something for someone else.

This one makes me panic. I can try to comment on blogs more often during the week? And, I want to talk more on Goodreads and Twitter as well.

• Learn something new.

I am going to try to do yoga every day of that week as well, to help foster a gentler approach to my relationship with my body. I would like to introduce physical flexibility again, because it used to bring me so much joy. While I used to practice yoga before getting too sick, I have gained so much weight, that it will be a whole new experience now.

Probably, I will aim for practicing through Yoga with Adrienne.

• Do something to foster a calm or welcoming environment.

Read for an hour or two every day! I feel much better when I read. And, I want to live tweet or GR update my way through my reading experience.

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    I figured a change of pace would be a good idea for the

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So She Thought

She lived in a shoe-box thinking it a mansion. In her head, she dreamed of being someone else, of being blue-eyed blonde, stick thin and muscly.

Never mind her thick legs. Ignore this frizz like pineapple hair. She promised to erase her wilderness, her half-masked ambition, her enthusiasm. Instead, she would trade it in for a calm, cool, collected caricature to a charismatic clever creature. Shrewd and nonchalant, she would circle those goals, day after day.

Wrong.

Her mind was wrong, but it was made up.

But, she spent her time wishing to be different. Only to realize that she is wasting her glory days gorging and gawking at other brains, other dreams, other beings.

Perhaps, it is less about minding the gaps between her and the rest. More, it is more about feeling the cloth she is working with. Touching the seams and zippers, soothing velvet texture. Throwing it back and jumping off roof tops, cape bellowing behind.

“These are the glory days,” she would whisper to the stars.

Get to Know Me Through the Movie Tag

    I figured a change of pace would be a good idea for the

Podcasts, Self Improvement, and Learning Off the Internet

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Top Ten Tuesday: Top Ten Recommendations for Fans of Bad-ass Characters

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Welcome to my first Disability Diaries entry for 2017. Over the next week, I will be dedicating my blog to discussions regarding disability (more than usual)). I am joining awesome hosts: Ely (who created this whole thing!), Angel, Cee Arr, Lara Liz, and Jolien.

Context

I was always a crier. Frequently suffering from intense mood swings and daily dose of manic episodes. Unable to maintain friendships, I relied on stories to find acceptance. And, unfortunately, it was very hard to find my place in a grander narrative. So, I existed with the pressure of trying to mask all the “weirdness.”

Never did I think that there were others like me. As educated as I thought I was, I was never aware of my family’s history with mental illness.

But, by January of 2012, I was crying all the time. Constantly. Things were going “well,” too. I had a steady job and two college degrees under my belt. There were very few reasons for my sadness. I felt so guilty for being unwell. Days would go by and I would be unable to get out of bed.

Even though I had just gotten a car, I was also starting to see things that confused me on the road. I would hear whispers about how much I sucked at driving. My heart was always beating too fast and loud for me to breathe properly.

Process

One day, my mom sat me down and encouraged me to look into therapy. So I did. I remember my second appointment being on Valentine’s Day. Then, by June, I was writing about my journey angrily on my blog.  You may be wondering why you can’t see posts from my early days on the blog-o-sphere. Well, I was very angry and frustrated. When I shared my experiences, I was quick to delete them out of fear and shame.

Represent

While I am trying to gear this blog toward books and more tangible things, I am also hoping for representation of disabled people like myself. It is hard to find good examples of people who are disabled in literature, I find. And, if the portrayal is accurate or convincing, sometimes the illness takes over the narrative. This is one of the reasons why even five years into treatment, I still struggle to be my own hero in my life.

My hope is to get a dialogue going to help other disabled people voice their experiences too. In doing so, we can challenge the idea of us being “abnormal” or objects to be controlled and manipulated. Part of it is confronting the shaming and overall erasure of our existence and, by extension, our value.

Hope you’re ready for Disability Diaries. I look forward to check out your posts and get the dialogue going!

Get to Know Me Through the Movie Tag

    I figured a change of pace would be a good idea for the

Podcasts, Self Improvement, and Learning Off the Internet

I spend a lot of time online. Perhaps I'm not alone in this, but it

Top Ten Tuesday: Top Ten Recommendations for Fans of Bad-ass Characters

          Welcome back to another Top Ten Tuesday. This week, the