Your Older Sister: On Healthier Self Talk

One of the most prominent voices you’ll ever hear is your own. Self talk plays a huge role in the way you carry yourself. The more aware you are of your thought processes and self talk, the more effective you can be at all facets of your life.

Get to Know Self-Talk

Self talk is exactly what it sounds like. It is the process by which you communicate with yourself. It is how you handle yourself. When you quiet your mind, what do you find? Often, we are taught to be critical of ourselves. This critical lens turns quite negative, though.

For example, you may find yourself saying things like: “What’s wrong with me?” or comparing yourself to colleagues and friends. Some people even go as far as questioning their value and worth.

 

What’s the Big Deal?

 

Puns aside, what’s wrong with negative self talk? A lot. Negative self talk leads to severe self doubt. You start questioning if you are up to any challenges. Not only that, you also find yourself trapped in a negative loop. It builds up anxiety and panic levels, with depression skyrocketing.

The way you talk to yourself has a lot to do with your self worth. Are you worthwhile? Worth taking a chance on? What you say to yourself translates to how you expect others to treat you. It also connects with your expectations from yourself. What can you accomplish? What are you capable of?

1. Monitor the Negative Chatter 

What you hear and think affect how you feel, so it’s key to recognize your thought patterns. How do you perceive the world? What is your perspective on how you are treated by others and how you treat yourself? Are you surrounded by people who say negative things to you too often? Maybe separate yourself from the chatter every once in a while.

2.  Positive Influence

It’s pretty helpful to find people who influence you positively. Surround yourself with love, to yourself and to others. As always, I will have to recommend the very powerful idea of having love, affection, and compassion to yourself and to others. Look up songs you love, make playlists, find positive self-help people or artists who make you feel good. Maybe search for inspirational stories to watch when the negative chatter gets to you.

 

3. Affirmations

This one feels a little strange to share, but maybe you could consider affirmations. I enjoy Gabrielle Bernstein’s affirmations in her books. I used to create mood boards of positive things in my life (literal boards). Now, I go on Pinterest and look up affirmations or Tumblr. Blogs can be a great tool to help you find good things to say to yourself. A nice tip to keep in mind is to think of yourself as a child of the universe, and offer support and gentleness to yourself.

 

4. Cautious Wording

Rather than saying you “can’t” or “couldn’t,” try to rephrase your self-talk to something more empowering. You “don’t,” instead, sounds more of a choice rather than something relating to your abilities. Be gentle with the way you phrase things. Obviously, we all slip up and we pick ourselves back to where we were or even higher.

 

5.  Have Goals

Little goals or big goals, just try to give yourself a purpose to fit your life into. I like to make little goals so things can be more achievable. Otherwise, I get overwhelmed. But, I do have overarching goals, too. You could consider writing these goals down to hold yourself more accountable and to have a tangible thing to go back to.

 

Your Turn:

How do you manage your self talk? What are some of your favorite tips to improve your relationship with yourself? Share in the comments!

 

For More:

Make Your Self Talk Work For You

The Importance of Positive Self Talk 

What is Self Talk? 

 

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